Monday, October 15, 2012

Removing my Fat Suit {Advocare Style}


Notice: If you are looking for fun Party posts or DIY goods... you may want to skip this post. This is about to get personal.

Have you ever noticed that I avoid pictures at all cost?  Well here is why.  Grab a nice cold drink, and enjoy the story.  Well that is if you chose to keep reading.

 
(200Lbs in 2005)

Let's go back to the beginning.   As a child I never considered myself to be "fat", however I was always bigger than most of my girlfriends.  I come from a BIG family, by big I mean most members on my Dad's side are 5'9"-6'6"!  And well built.  

The hard part is that I am the only family member on either side that would be considered "obese" (I hate that term, but it's life)  I always feel like the outcast, and like a let down to my family.  My Grandpa always worries about my weight, and It's completely out of love and care.  He is getting older now, and his health has taken a few steps back over the last few years, and I really want him to see me do this!  

(Krista and I, October 13th 2012)

I went through high school pretty happy with myself.  I never felt that I needed to be on a diet, but I was never a bikini boaster.  I was me, and I still am Me. 

My senior year of high school I met my husband.  It was love at first sight, I will have to share that story another time.  Well you know what happens when you fall in love and over the years you get pretty comfortable with each other?  Well then you start to get comfortable with the weight as well.  I didn't gain a ton, but probably went up one pant size and gained 15-20 pounds.  No Big deal, I was still so very happy with who I was.

 
(My husband, Son and I, 2007)

Then came baby.  In 2002 I got pregnant with our son.  I gained 56 pounds.... it was awful.  Once he was born he never breast fed, which was even worse.  I tried to lose the weight, but with the new baby which then became a toddler, I just didn't have it in me.  I felt like a load of mass that couldn't help myself.  I topped the scales at 260 pounds! ( I cannot believe I am posting this on here)

(Me and my sister in-law, 2007)

Then in 2004 I got pregnant with our daughter.  I was already 260 pounds and was terrified that I was going to gain a mass amount once again.  However in the first trimester I lost about 10 pounds.  The day I went in to give birth I weighed 271 pounds!  Eek, but she was also a 9 pound baby!

(Me and Michael Maloney, 2008)

About 2 weeks after I had her I decided it was time to get my rear in gear.  I started walking about 5 miles a day and eating all healthy, clean and fresh foods.  Within 3 months I had lost 69 pounds!  I was down to 202 pounds!  No gimmicks, no shakes, just good old fashioned weight loss.  Breastfeeding played a HUGE part and I will get to that in a minute.

 
(Our wedding day 2005 at 200 Pounds!)

I felt amazing to say the least.  Life went on, and BAM a storm rolled in and took my life by surprise.  I was completely betrayed by my best friend of 15 years.  I was mortified and sent into a very deep depression, and started packing on the pounds.

(2009)

Over the course of 3 years I would cry and eat, and cry and eat... I went on medication that gave me migraines, so I had to quit taking it of course.  It took me a long time to re-gain trust and heal from my wounds.  I have come a LONG way mentally, but physically I am still at that road block.

(My husband and I 2008)

I love my husband dearly, and was able to sort through things with him, and it actually made us closer.  As for the friend, we have not spoken since that day, nor will we ever.  I hate to be that way, but she is not a woman I would EVER trust in my life ever again.  Some women just want what others have, and will go great lengths to get there.... can I get an AMEN?

(Roloff Farms 2007)

Onto today!  The weight is still there, and in fact it's gotten higher!  It's like my body won't let go.  I'm wearing this suit that is my shield from life.  But as of today, I am D.O.N.E!  I am miserable.  I wake up in pain, I have zero energy, and am just downright unhappy. 

 
(Amy Roloff with Me and Gabi 2007)

I always ask myself  WHY am I unhappy?  I have a great job, great family, great husband, amazing home, my own business, money... everything is great... so WHY?!?!

(Me and My sister 2008)

It is because I am not living the life I should be.  I am trapped inside this fat suit, and I need out.  I used to be very outgoing.... not anymore.  I'm tired of being bottled up.  I'm ready to come out.

(2006)

So if you are still with me... I am inviting you to join me on my journey!  I am going to document every step of the way.  Weigh-In's once a week, and Lot's of pictures, menu's and tips.  

(Heather and I with Phil & Amy Parham from The Biggest Loser in 2009)

I am done with the old me, ready for new!! 

 (Me and My sister in 2008)

And before you go, my inspiration came from Shelley over at House of Smiths!  She is a doll, and I look up to her in so many ways.  More than she will ever know.  She herself has lost so much weight in the last year, go check it out!!   And as a bonus, I get to meet her in April at SNAP!  I haven't set my weight loss goal for that date, but you better bet it's gonna be a big one!!!

 
 
So here's to the removal of my fat suit!!!  So long sista!!

So head on over to my new blog "Breathing in the Moment" to follow me on my journey one step at a time!  

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